Forgiveness as Foundation

Forgiveness is not the same as approval. It is not pretending the wound did not happen. It is the deliberate decision to stop demanding repayment from a debtor who cannot, in any case, pay you back to wholeness. Only Christ can do that, and He has.

Ephesians grounds our forgiveness in His. We forgive just as in Christ God forgave us. The math is unflinching. We were forgiven debts of cosmic proportion; we are asked to release debts that, however painful, are smaller than the one Christ released for us.

This does not mean reconciliation is automatic, or that boundaries should be ignored, or that an unrepentant person should be trusted as if nothing had happened. Forgiveness is the work of releasing the demand for personal repayment. Reconciliation is the further work of restoring relationship, which requires both sides. The first is always available. The second is sometimes not. Don't confuse them, and don't let the impossibility of the second stop you from undertaking the first.

The pattern is older than we are. The grace is older than the pattern. We come to it not as students at the head of the class but as children at the foot of a long table, where the meal has been ready for a while and the chair has always been waiting for us. Sit. Receive what has already been given. The day will be longer than you think, and the bread will be enough.